Get back up.

We lose our way, we get back up again…
— tobyMac (new single “Get Back Up”)

I had a bit of a revelation last night while going through my almost-nightly “OMG praise God for bringing an end to this day” detox session.

Actually, let me backpedal a bit. Hi! Been a while since I really posted anything of substance, hasn’t it? I think after I came to the decision that Jenn and I will start a new blog together after we get married, I lost a lot of interest in keeping this one updated. Is that going to change? Prob’ly not. But this really is something weighing heavy on my heart, so we’re gonna pretend for today.

Okay, fast forward to the past couplethree weeks. Long story short, a whole lot of crap has happened to me recently. Just within the past two weeks or so:

* My laptop was stolen out of my bag at work.

* My iPhone was completely erased while trying to sync it with the “loner” netbook that my mother has been gracious enough to share with me.

* I did something to my right shoulder back on Jan. 31st that has resulted in very annoying and persistent pain going from my shoulder blade down to my elbow ever since then.

* I dropped my iPhone and broke yet another case.

* Got a pretty yucky sinus infection last week that resulted in me missing half a day of work and two nights of school.

* The back door on the driver’s side of my car would not close securely yesterday, resulting in me having to find a ride to work and being thirty minutes late.

The grand prize of this whole mess is me being within a hairsbreadth of finding the nearest cave and hiding in it until the Rapture. Until last night. Like I said before, I had a bit of a revelation. This is prob’ly something that would’ve come to other folks I know in a more timely fashion, but heck, I’m just glad it finally dawned on me.

In this day and age, what do you think when someone says, “The devil is at work here?” For me, personally, that reminds me of when I had Dr. Allan Saxe for Texas Government a couple years back. He had a habit of mouthing off some hilarious-yet-terribly demeaning jokes that were guaranteed to offend every culture/gender/species in attendance at least once every evening. After he would blurt out such a joke, he would clap his hand over his mouth, then comically say, “I am so sorry. The DEVIL made me do it!”

I think this is a pretty dang good example of how people look at the devil’s influence these days. It’s hilarious. It’s not real. People have control over their own destinies, and there’s no sulfur-sucking freakshow doing this stuff to me, right?

Not necessarily.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
— 1 Peter 5:8

So, is the devil at work in my life right now? Could be. It’s possible he’s trying to distract me from the most important things right now: God, Jenn, and school. He’s using what I like to call R&D. Not research and development, not raspberries and donuts (though that would probably work just as well as everything else he’s been doing to distract me), but Ruses and Deceptions. Stuff keeps getting thrown at me to distract me from focusing on getting stuff done for school, plus it’s distracting me from continuing to nurture my relationship with Jenn as we prepare to get married. Not to mention the fact that my laptop got stolen from me shortly after I just started doing some serious graphics work for my church.

What if it’s the other way around, though? What if God is T&B‘ing me? Okay, sorry, too many letters&letters. Testing and Blessing me.

The LORD your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul.
— Deuteronomy 13:3b

We know God tests us. It’s part of the whole deal. So it’s totally possible that this is just another test of faith by Him.

But at the same time, I can also see some of this stuff as a real blessing. Well, two things mainly. I mean, breaking my iPhone case was somewhat of a blessing, because it resulted in me getting an even sweeter case for about half the price of the last one. But anyway, the two things I think of as a blessing in disguise were probably the two worst things on that list up there: My laptop getting stolen and my iPhone getting wiped.

A little over three years ago, when I first started dating Jenn, I was on the tail end of a serious addiction to World of Warcraft. I realized shortly into our relationship how much of a detriment that addiction was to our quality time together, so I closed my account and I haven’t been back since. I thank God every day for that, because it was His way of intervening before I became a hardcore gamer and wasted my life away in that crappy old apartment, eating Jack in the Box tacos every night and playing WoW.

But then my laptop was stolen, and being without it has made me realized that said addiction wasn’t quite out of my life. For a short while after the incident, I was suffering from (and I apologize, because I know this sounds a tad melodramatic) my own personal equivalent to phantom limb syndrome. Over the past four or five years, I had turned that laptop into another appendage. If I needed anything, I knew that my laptop could help me. And so when my laptop was stolen, well, you can guess how I reacted. Devastated, completely and utterly. I was seriously depressed, like I had no idea how I was going to do just about anything in life without that laptop.

Then my iPhone did it’s thing, and that just made me feel crappier. What the heck was going on with my stuff!? I was getting pissed. My usual methods of communicating and general “doing stuff” were rebelling on me. How am I going to function without a working iPhone and a laptop that’s been taken from me?

Then, after the 800th time that thought crossed my mind, I finally realized just how absurd it was.

How am I going to function without Facebook? Twitter? Photoshop? Office?

See where I’m going with this?

The devil may be taking advantage of the situation by trying to distract me by worrying about all this stuff. But GOD is waking me up from this technologically-induced state of dependency. Through the theft of my laptop, He’s giving me an NCIS-caliber smack on the backside of the head and going, “HEY. Quit it.”

I don’t NEED this stuff. It’s nice to have, yes. But if it’s gone, then it’s gone. There is absolutely no reason for me to get so sad about not being able to get online. My laptop was not another arm, it was just a tool. A tool that I had a bad habit of getting too absorbed in using. And I needed to learn my lesson about getting too far into it.

So, where do I go from here? Do I shun technology? Do I sell my iPhone?

Pff, no. 🙂 I need to remember that the key is to not let myself get absorbed. I’m not missing out on anything epic if I don’t login to Facebook whenever I have down time. I don’t need to tweet every other thought I think or action I… act.

Granted, losing my Photoshop sucks, because I was just getting started on doing some fun stuff for my church. But it’s okay, because I know I’ll still be able to help whenever I can.

As I look back on all this now that I’ve typed it out… man, it looks really silly. In the grand scheme of things, of all the terrible stuff going on in this world, my biggest problem right now is getting over losing a computer. But hey, the little victories in life at just as nice, right? A win is a win, and anything that helps me clear out the clutter, get closer to God, and focus on what’s REALLY important in my life (ie. marrying the girl of my dreams) is a tremendous victory, as far as I’m concerned.

All I have to remember is that it’s just stuff. This stuff, I can live without. This stuff, I can lose without breaking my heart. Being without this stuff will not keep my life from going on. Stuff, I don’t need.

What I do need is my Lord. What I do need is my beautiful fiancée. What I do need is to finish school so I can make a better future for my wife and me.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.

Coming January 31st…

If you’re anywhere in the D/FW area, come join us at First Baptist Grand Prairie on the night of Sunday, January 31st. We are starting a new monthly contemporary service, and we’d love to see you!

January 12, 2007.

Three years ago today, I met the love of my life. The girl of my dreams, and the woman I am going to marry five months from today.

Father God, thank you for blessing me with Jennifer. Thank you for bringing her into my otherwise geeky and lame life. Thank you for pulling me out of the crap I was in and giving me the one I will be spending the rest of my life with.

Agradecido.

Can you believe it’s that time of year already? I’m off for the rest of the week after today, so this’ll be it until Monday. Jenn and I are spending Turkey Day at Aunt Martha’s house, then we’re going with my mom down to the Hill Country, and Jenn’s going to meet Mom’s side of the family for the first time ever. Very exciting!

As we take the time to celebrate this wonderful holiday full of family, friends, and the best food in the universe, don’t forget to count your blessings and be thankful for what you have in your life. In these turbulent times, it’s more important than ever to remember that while there’s a lot we don’t have, there’s plenty more that we DO have.

I am thankful for the Heavenly Father above, and his son who was sent to die for our sins, both of whom I would be completely lost without.

I am thankful for my beautiful and amazing fiance, who I’ll be marrying in just a little over six months and spending the rest of my life with.

I am thankful for my awesome parents, who have been there for me more times than I can count.

I am thankful for my excellent friends, who bring so much laughter into my life.

I am thankful for my job, which allows me to earn the money I need to pay my bills.

I am thankful for my college education, which I will be completing in the Spring so I can earn MORE than the money I need to pay my bills. 🙂

I am thankful for you, friend. Thank you for reading my quaint little ol’ blog whenever you get a chance. I’m not exactly bringing in massive amounts of traffic here, but I know I have a dedicated few who enjoy reading my blog as much as y’all can. And that’s all I need.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, my dear friends. I hope you are able to enjoy it as much as I will. And when it’s over with, let’s all celebrate that magical time of year where we dust off the Christmas albums and listen to them until our ears bleed. Ha!

So what are you up to this week? Travel plans? Eating plans? Sleeping plans?

I’m Provocative in Writeing!

Why hello fellow forum people! I just wanted to establish myself here as this looks like a dialect right interesting forum! I myself am provocative in things like writeing and computer revamping so if anyoune needs serve farm out me identify! I also Suffer from Sciatica so if you aslo have this condition cause to me know so we can share out some stretches!

How’s that for bizarre? I got that in my Spam folder as a comment here.

So this weekend freakin’ rocked. Saturday was the Grand Life Expo at church, which was a blastie blast. Food, classic cars, farm animals, dogs, bounce houses, music, all free. Very cool stuff. Then Sunday night, we had a party for the Youth called The Awakening, which featured laser tag, basketball, pizza, the Trae Castles Band, and an illusionist named Jared Hall. Jay Lowder also spoke to them that night, and it was intense. We had 50 kids come to Christ that night, it was amazing. We also gave away to the kids an iPod Touch, Airsoft guns, Coach purses, a Vizio TV, and a car. Yep, that’s right, a car. It was just a little ’91 Ford Probe. But hey, it was some kid’s first car, so that was awesome. Plus, it had been totally restored, so it was in practically new condition when the kid got it. Great stuff. 🙂

All in all, it was definitely one of those weekends I didn’t wanna have to go back to work after experiencing. Don’t you hate that? You have this life-changing, mind-blowing, multi-hyphenated-experience… then you have to go back to being Clark Kent. It sucks, y’know? I don’t know how we all get through it without going crazy.

Nevertheless, on and on we go. At least we have some chilly weather to enjoy. I’ve been wearing my jacket most of the past couple of days at work. It’s kind of a weird feeling, I’m not used to being cold like this on a regular basis. Usually I’m the one who’s all like, “Aww man, you weenie! Take off the jacket and be a man!” But now I’m getting cold a whole lot easier for some reason. I wonder if it’s my metamobomolism or the new diet or something.

That’s all for now. Have a good one, friend.

iPSotD:

Holy holy holy holy holy holy holy. . . . .

Dadgummit.

Sorry the blogging’s been all but nonexistent the past couple days. Between school and work, I’ve been having a hard time shifting gears enough to do this. Had a major paper due in Archaeology yesterday, plus an exam in Criminal Justice. So that was a little nuts! But, it’s all over now, so I’ve got at least a couple days of respite before it gets wacky again.

So Friday night, I surprised Jenn for an early birthday treat. I had Misty tell us that she wanted to go to Chuy’s for dinner with us after we finished registering at Home Depot. When we got there, Misty walked us back to where she had already got us a table. What Jenn didn’t realize was that there were a whole bunch of people waiting for us there. 🙂 My dad, Brad, her parents, her aunt and uncle, and several of our friends were all sitting there… and she walked right by them! Only when Kevin jumped out from behind a wall and surprised her did she realize what was going on. We got her good! LOL So that was a lot of fun. She totally had no idea, which was awesome. Tomorrow night is her real birthday, so we’re going to spend some time with her family to celebrate it.

Let’s see, what else has happened?… Oh yeah, Halloween was Saturday! That was a hoot. I volunteered my car to participate in our church’s Trunk or Treat party for the kiddos. I couldn’t believe I was the only one who decorated my car like this:

And the icing on the cake, of course, was Scottie volunteering to be eaten:

After we finished up there, we went to my family’s house for a little Halloween party. Nothing fancy, just hanging out and heating hot dawgs ‘n s’mores from the fire pit. The motley crew for the night:

So, fun little turnout there. 🙂

Sunday was our new music minister’s first day on the job. That was an absolute blast. Plus, even though we couldn’t have service out on the new property (dang mud), our pastor brought in a tub of dirt from the property and blessed it. It was very cool, and the service as a whole was SO much fun. We also raised nearly $200,000 in one-day offerings as part of the “first fruits” offering to go towards the development of the new church. I’m pretty sure that was the largest one-day offering in the history of the church. Very awesome.

That’s about all I got for now. Peace out, homeys.

Have I mentioned lately that I have TOYS FOR SALE?

Post Thumbnail? Huh.

So Saturday is Halloween. We’re doin’ a little summin-summin at my family’s house that night. But, I’m having a hard time getting into it. I mean, I know I’m gonna have fun with my family and friends there. We’ll have hot dogs and sodey pops and goodies, and we’ll have a good ol’ time. But since I’m pretty dang broke right now (hence the title, heh), I’m not spending any money on a costume this year. We’re just going to have a masquerade of sorts, and I’m going to try and find something to use that I already own.

I don’t know if my lack of excitement is entirely because of a lack of funds or not, but don’t you hate when that’s the case? Don’t you hate when, whether you like it or not, your happiness ends up being related to the amount of money you have? I HATE that. I think it’s completely absurd. I hate that whenever the money dwindles down, there’s a direct correlation to how depressed I get. And no matter how much I sit here and thank God for all the blessings I already have– Jenn, a healthy(ish) life, the ability to pay my bills– I still kill my own buzz by subconsciously thinking “Well, this would be a whole lot better if I had some cash.” LAME, Collin.

But what can you do? We’re so flippin’ brainwashed into thinking this way. There’s just no escaping it, short of almost completely withdrawing from society in general. All I can do is continue to pray and thank the Good Lord for everything I do have in my life, and hopefully that will win out in my brain eventually.

But right now, right this very moment, when I have something I really want to get excited about and spend money on… well, this round is a losing battle.

I know, it’s a little early.

So, this was a nice weekend. Went to choir practice on Saturday morning with Jenn. I don’t think I’m going to sing in the Christmas pageant, but it was still fun to hang out and hear everyone sing. It’s sounding fantastic, I cannot wait for the holidays. 🙂

On that note, I was talking to Jenn about this on Saturday afternoon, and I think it’s true. I think people REALLY need to get Christmas’d up this year. The way the country is going lately, we are in such a deep state of depression, and we need some holiday spirit up in this joint. Now, I’m not talking about presents. This is definitely going to be a lean Christmas this year, that’s a fact. I’m talking about everything else. Christmas trees, Christmas music, Christmas smells, Christmas sounds, Christmas specials on TV… You know, the blitz that always really starts the weekend after Thanksgiving. Not the Black Friday aspect, but the seasonal aspect. Just the feeling of the holiday season. You know, that warm and cozy feeling! It’s something I’ve just been craving lately, personally, and I think a lot of people feel the same way and don’t realize it.

Along that line, I’ve noticed in recent years since I’ve really dedicated my life to Christ, that warm and cozy feeling is even better. Something changes in you when you get saved (well, a lot of things change in you, but that’s not the point), and in the weeks leading up to December 25th (yes, I know that’s not necessarily his REAL birthday…), if you let it in, that awesome feeling you get knowing that you’re preparing to celebrate the birth of Jesus is one of the most comforting and wonderful feelings you’ll ever experience in this life. I remember watching “The Nativity Story” with Jenn last year for the first time. I never got to see it when it came out in theaters, and she has it on DVD. Anyway, THAT is an awesome movie. If you ever get a chance, watch it. The way they act out the story is just fantastic, especially the birth of Jesus at the end of the movie. It’s some of the most moving stuff I’ve seen on film, and it’s definitely something we’ll be watching every Christmas now.

Anyway, long story short, I think we’re all going to benefit from having a sweet little Christmas this year. Focus on your family, your friends, and Jesus. This year is as good a time as ever to start doing so, if you haven’t yet. We’re all blessed in so many little (and big) ways, and given the nature of the world right now, we should be grateful for all that we have.

… Man, I guess that was weighing heavier on my heart than I thought it was. It’s not even Halloween yet! LOL

Anyway, back to Saturday. Fun day. Okay, got it. After we went to choir practice, Jenn had a dentist appointment, and then we went to Bed, Bath, & Beyond to create a wedding registry there. We ended up spending at least three hours there working on our registry. It’s definitely our biggest one yet, but it’s mostly made up of little things, like, towels, picture frames, and kitchen utensils. Lots of cool stuff. 🙂

Jenn sang Revelation Song in church on Sunday. It was absolutely amazing. Folks were kidding around with me about the performance after church, though. The way the orchestra is setup on stage, I sit directly behind where the preacher stands at the pulpit. So as a result, when Jenn was standing there singing, I was sitting right behind her. And I was mouthing the words to the song the entire time. LOL! I wasn’t the only one, there were many folks in the congregation doing the same thing. But since I’m her fiance, and we were BOTH on camera at the time, I was the one who was given heck about it. Haha!

Next weekend, we’re going to try again to have the big tent service out on the new property. There’s rain in the forecast for a couple days this week, so I can’t say I’m fully confident it’s gonna work out. I really hope it does, though, because this time we’ll also be celebrating our first Sunday with our new music minister. Seems to me like that’s some good timing, so hopefully it’ll work out and the field will be nice and dry(ish) for Sunday. Here’s hoping!

One of those nights…

Have you ever had something happen to you that was a complete and total accident, but you had someone just rip you to shreds for it? Happened to me last night. I spent the entire evening feeling horrible after the person confronted me about what happened, and it totally screwed up my brain just in time for my Renaissance midterm. Needless to say, the midterm didn’t go nearly as well as it should have. I think I did all right, though. There were a couple of questions that I just totally brain-farted on when I shouldn’t have, but there was nothing I could do about that.

What happened to mess me up so bad? Well, it’s not really something I want to talk about in a public forum. If I ever talk to you face to face, and you REALLY want to know, then I certainly don’t mind telling you. But it’s one of those things where, quite frankly, I’m completely and utterly humiliated for screwing up so bad.

Now don’t worry, I didn’t cheat or anything horrid like that. 🙂 I didn’t do anything that has ruined my life or anything else’s, and in the grand scheme of things, everything’s going to be all right. But it still happened, and my pride has been seriously bruised.

That being said, I’ll get over it. It sucks, but I’ll be all right. My conscience is clean, and I know that the Big Guy who really matters knows what’s up. So it’s all good.

So I’m trying to take it easy today. Not a whole lot going on, and I don’t have anything due for the rest of the week. We’re watching a video in Pirates of the Caribbean tonight, so that’ll be fun. And then I’ll get to enjoy a nice quiet dinner with Jenn, which always makes me feel better. She got really upset when I called her yesterday after the “incident” happened, and I don’t blame her for it at all. She was scared that the repercussions would result in something even worse happening, but she calmed down pretty quick after I explained everything. She’s been nothing but supportive ever since. We met Misty at Chick-Fil-A for dinner last night after school, and Jenn bought me dinner. So sweet. She really went the extra mile to help me feel better. She always does, and that’s one of the many reasons I love that gal so much.

Jon Acuff on Stuff Christians Like posted a rather timely entry today that rang very true for me. Is it true that I’m stupid for letting this happen?

“No, it’s not true. You are not that word, that thing, that label someone or even yourself is asking you to wear. Showing you compassion is the reason God gets up in the morning. That is what’s true.”

“Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion.” — Isaiah 30:18

On a side note, next time you go to CFA, get provolone and bacon on your chikin sammich. OMG so good.

8 years.

Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

iPSotD: