Home > Diet, Food > Things to contemplate while sitting at Subway

Things to contemplate while sitting at Subway

Back on the diet hardcore today. Jenn and I are both sick of the way we’ve gotten off course, so we’re laying the smackdown starting today.

Unfortunately, she’s back at work today, so I’m sitting here at Subway all by my lonesome. Still, it’s an interesting opportunity to sit and contemplate life and the crazy people around me. So here’s a list of some random thoughts I’ve had creep into my head since I sat down to eat…

• Mmm, Cold Cut Combo. I feel like Happy Gilmore, only without the golfing ability and the skinniness.

• I’m drinking Diet Coke for the first time in a long time. Tastes much better than the last time I tried to get off of Dr. Pepper.

• These Spicy Chipotle Sun Chips are neither spicy nor sunny.

• Ooh, I won a free Fuze Sweet Tea!

• I wonder if that guy over there realizes that wearing that bandana on his head makes him look less gangsta and more like one of Tevye’s daughters in Fiddler on the Roof. “Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match…”

• I could sit here and sniff bread fumes all day.

• Dude. No. Get your hand off your hip and stand up straight. Order your sammich like a man!

• Avocado’s good on my sammich, but it kinda takes away from the flavor of the bologna. Prob’ly shouldn’t’ve got it anyway.

• I should’ve gotten extra bologna. Love bologna almost as much as I love Vienna sausages. Oh yes.

• Anybody ever tried their new breakfast menu? It’s actually very good, believe it or not.

• Dangit, those cookies look good. Must be good. Stay strong, Big C…

• Captain Hand-Hip just walked by me smelling like he took a dip in his cologne pool before visiting this fine establishment.

• So did the old white Steve Urkel who was right behind him.

• I just accidentally threw away the free tea coupon with the rest of my garbage. Oops.

Okay, I guess I’ve sat here long enough. Gonna get a refill of DC and hit the ol’ dusty trail. Peace.

Ha! Lazar Wolf was a butcher. Didn’t even think about that earlier.

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